My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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