it's too hot outside to masturbate.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
