True but thats because hes a fetus.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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