for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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