I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
