between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
