Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
