Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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