i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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