She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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