Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
