i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?