in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf