Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
