Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
