it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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