You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
