So drunk its hurt
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
