hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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