We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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