Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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