I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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