you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
