I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
