Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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