i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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