And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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