yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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