put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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