$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize