apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
