apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
