If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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