I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
