If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
