yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
