yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
