he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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