R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
