What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
