I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
