New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
