It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
