So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
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Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
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I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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