Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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