White coat. Heels.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
