I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
