Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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