i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
