Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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