Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
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I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
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just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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