my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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