Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
