I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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