Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
