He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
