i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
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I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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