Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
