Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Fuck appropriateness.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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