At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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