Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
