In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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