a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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