Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
