Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
