its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
