He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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